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You are here -> Lifestyle / Think Tank Sunday, 06 July, 2008
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Travel to Switzerland
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Planet Notion tries out the Rock Band computer game!
A guy from a gaming website plays the guitar like a toddler on a dustpan brush; note perfect. Your writer pummels the pads of a makeshift drum-set with all the rhythm of a fat man’s teeth, chewing on a pork scratching. A guy from a porno magazine sings “I’m a creep / I’m a weirdo” like a screeching cat, punching the air as he achieves a surprise score of 100% ‘Perfection’. We look at one another with goofy grins; it wasn’t perfect, but for three minutes we were ‘A Band’; a damn good (sic) one. Welcome to the world of console game Rock Band, an ingenious shift from the much lauded Guitar Hero that had a console bod, a porn writer, and a lowly hack who’d never met before, truly believing we could be “The Next Big Thing!” I guess I’m a connoisseur on few of the so-called delights of the masses. Computer games were good as a young shipper-snapper - for interfering with schooling and playing with the Other Kids. They were an excellent form of escapism from the rough-and-tumble of those heady years - when everyone else was bonking in the bike-sheds, delivering crunching tackles on the playing field, and kicking-in bus shelters. Primitive celebration of London suburbia. Alas, Rock Band represents a rare occasion when serotonin kicks in like a three-pill swallow, a smile creeps up like a jackal, and you and a group of strangers lose yourself for three minutes in a bizarre moment of musical, technical, wizardry. A return to those bygone years . In case you’re totally unaware of Rock Band’s concept, it basically consists of two plastic guitars which - in the context of size to man ratio, are akin to the inbred boy’s banjo in Deliverance being played by Johnny Vegas. One represents guitar the other bass. Making up the package is a fake drum, just like the electronic ones used in the 90s, and a microphone. They plug into a console (XBOX 360) – the guitarists pressing coloured buttons and twiddling a flap to strum imaginary strings. The drummer pummels the pads of his makeshift drum with wooden sticks, like a barbarian clubbing a tough rump-steak, whilst the singer squeals into the microphone to correspond with the high notes and low. I feel it’s my duty to leave it there. No need to dwell on the technicalities because you’re probably aware of how these games work; and if you can’t visualise it… Rump-Steak!!! I was told by an expert on this new concept in cooperative gaming, that the songs on Rock Band are likely to be familiar to those with even the poorest knowledge of music. With classics by the The Rolling Stones, Pixies, The Clash, Beastie Boys, Ramones, and The Who, I make him right. An additional ten songs have been added to the European version of the game; old familiars from bands including Radiohead (Creep), Blur (Beetlebum), Oasis (Rock n Roll Star), and H-Block X (Countdown to Insanity). There’s a career option where your makeshift band attempts to go from grotty pubs to sell-out arenas and an online option so you can play against anyone who owns the game – from Papa New Guinea to Argentina. So what makes Rock Band so special? I guess it’s that sense of false hope, a feeling that you’re actually pretty damn-hot on the drums or a damn-good singer because an imaginary crowd is screaming for "more music"; some poor pixilated fucker getting buried underneath a mosh-pit by an ecstatic computerised crowd of reprobates. It’s not the kind of game you’d associate with a social outcast console geek, locked in his room with drawn curtains and thirty cans of Red Bull; unkempt hair, Elvis Costello specs and the latest issue of Manga Models Monthly - sticky and contaminated in a mound of empty bottles and crisp packets. No. Rock Band is a social game, the kind to play with a group of mates; a fridge full of beer and the delivery boy closing in with an Extra-Large Pizza. In my book, that makes Rock Band a gaming revolution and a must have for all music fans… Albeit, with money to splash. CHECK OUT THE VIDEO BELOW FOR AN IN-GAME TASTER! Dangerous Dave NEED TO KNOW: The UK release of Rock Band will have an exclusive launch window on the Xbox 360 videogame console from Microsoft, beginning on May 23. Rock Band will be available for additional platforms later this summer. Rock Band is a product of Harmonix and MTV Games. Additional tracks are available for download via the online option of the Xbox 360.
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Dangerous Dave shows class at the 'Nobby Clark shoots Noel Fielding' exhibition!
There was something quite disconcerting about attending a (fairly) high profile photography launch for one Dave Dryden; Dave Danger; Dangerous Dave, esquire. Someone like yours truly, thankfully, forever faithful to the limits of anarchy and all out debauchery, is like a fish out of water in the confines of a gallery; sophistication as alien as a Big Mac and Fries to the remote Wakakuku Tribe of Central Bogulugu. Nonetheless, following a somewhat anarchic couple of weeks, I decided to try my hand at the whole ‘class’ game and attend the ‘Nobby Clark shoots Noel Fielding’ photography exhibition at the Maison Bertaux gallery in Soho… First a spot of history for you the (possibly murderous/possibly okay) reader to mull over. Noel Fielding is the popular comedian from the beeb’s Mighty Boosh where he plays Vince Noir alongside Julian Barratt‘s ‘Howard Moon’. In his spare time Noel likes to paint - “It’s the only way I can relax” – he says. So, sometime ago, Noel held a pretty big exhibition showcasing his art at the Maison Bertaux (which is above a really quaint bakery that sells “well nice” chocolate éclairs). The gallery, you see, is owned by Noel’s dealer (art not drugs as there’s no evidence Noel takes them) Tania Wade – rated by The Observer as “the rising star of the London art world”. Noel’s art is kind of like a really cool acid trip incorporating talking crocodiles, a dude from the Ramones, Keith Richards and characters from the world of the Mighty Boosh, the comedy his work so often inhabits. So at the launch of Noel’s exhibition veteran photographer Nobby Clark, who’s photographed everyone from the Rolling Stones to Al Pacino, decided to snap Noel alongside his artwork in what I interpreted as an “art meets art” philosophy. Cool, huh? This brings us to the night in question (in a roundabout way), the ‘Nobby Clark shoots Noel Fielding’ photography exhibition… Upon arrival at the Maison Bertaux my (makeshift) photographer and I found ourselves wading through a herd of paps before being greeted by owner Tania Wade and pointed towards the complimentary drinks table. The Maison Bertaux struck me as an interesting establishment for a launch night and gallery, its size confining it to ‘tin can’ dimensions; packed to the rim with old people in cravats, suits, and tweed hats vying for an inch – nay, a centimetre of space. “More like a farmers market in Kent than a bakery in Soho” I thought to myself, in mock posh brogue. Needless to say my acquaintance and I grabbed another complimentary red wine and left the jam-packed interior, taking residence on some wooden chairs in the cool night air; waiters and waitresses flitting about and asking everyone if they’d “Like some cake?” Pap’s eagerly awaited the arrival of Noel Fielding, smoking cigarettes and nattering like long lost brothers before fighting with eyes of rabid dog for the first photo of their target. Hypocrisy personified. I took a gulp of wine and rolled a cigarette; trying in vain to become acquainted with the whole shebang; “lonely days and sleepless nights, this doesn’t seem so right” by Jay Reatard ricocheting from one side of my thoughts to the other; verbal table tennis of a confused mind. Alas, Fielding came prancing round the corner, dressed in token poncho, red winkle-pickers, skinny jeans and straw hat with flower motif; texting on his mobile as cries of “THERE HE IS!” rang-out from all corners; person to person, pap to pap. Gok Wan (How to Look Good Naked) remaining ignored on the other side of the road despite his efforts at recognition. I took another glug of my second wine as Fielding posed a dog’s cock away; flashing bulbs inadvertedly capturing me and my ‘photographer’ in background shot, the disappointment etched all over the Pap’s faces as they viewed their efforts moments later… There you go; if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to attend the launch of a (fairly) high profile photography exhibition, that’s a fairly accurate intro to the surrealism of the whole shebang. Now to the exhibition itself, where my attempts to chat-up Alison ‘VV’ Mosshart (The Kills) went down like a soufflé in an open oven. Despite the quantity of alcohol flowing through the veins the exhibition proved genuinely impressive, the intimate surroundings upstairs in the Maison Bertaux bringing a certain je ne sais quois to proceedings. I pointed in awe at the varying shades of photos, trying my best to look classy and show some understanding - “Look at the yellow exposure, the purple, the green” - the various poses Clark had captured of Noel alongside his art, amusing, intimate, bold - before pulling Noel to one side and asking him a question; the evasive Mosshart clinging to his arm like a Vampress to her prey: “How does it feel to have your art in art?” I asked Noel as he turned towards me. “Well,” he responded with a smile, “I love the fact this is an exhibition of photos of my exhibition. So I’ve basically been taking photos of this exhibition - of my exhibition, so then we have an exhibition of that exhibition; and Nobby’s gonna take some photos of that exhibition, until we complete the third part.” This was followed by much laughter and a mutual relief that we were as clueless on photography as each other. I pondered my question - ‘art’ photographed as ‘art’ - and carried on our exchange. “It’s like when you’re in a lift with loads of mirrors!” “Yeah,” chuckled Noel. “Like Russian dolls! It‘s an exhibition within an exhibition within an exhibition,” followed b y more laughter from the both of us; both fishes out of water; both strangers to the “nibbles” and the “wine” and the chats about “the race for London mayor”. In the end Noel left hand in hand with Alison ‘VV’ Mosshart, Vampress of The Kills, and I left proud. Proud that I’d only had three beers, five red wines, three whites, and spoken to “rising star of the London artworld” Tania Wade on an intelligent level. Class? It’s a piece of piss… Words: Dave Dryden Photography courtesy of the Nobby Clark/Noel Fielding exhibition Dangerous Dave photo by Christina Budhram The Nobby Clark Shoots Noel Fielding’ exhibition opens to the public from April 23rd - June 21st. Nobby Clark Shoots Noel Fielding Gallery Maison Bertaux 28 Greek Street , Soho London , W1D 5DQ
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Smokin Jo's Asia tour diary!
Singapore : Arrived in Singapore for my first stop on a two week tour of Asia very jet lagged after a long flight from London. Walking out into the heat the first time always gets me, it is just like opening an oven door, so humid as well, I love it! Actually, I love Asia full stop, the people, the vibe, the scenery and lets not mention the food, my favourite food on the planet!! There goes my waistline for the next two weeks! As usual with all big Asian hotels, it is stunning. We, and by we I mean my boyfriend James and I, head to the room to freshen up then head off to have a little look around and find something to eat. We find a nice place by a river and stuff our faces full of local fish and rice, delicious. I am not gigging that evening so we get an early night. Next day we decide to do a bit of sightseeing, that’s the great thing about touring you actually get a chance to see the countries you visit even if it is only a day or two. Most weekends I see the airport and the club and that’s it. I have been to Singapore a few times but James had not, so we head off in the searing heat to see what’s going on. We don’t last long, it is roasting, we seek refuge in a Buddhist temple which is beautiful, it is decorated with hundreds of mini Buddha’s, flowers and a lush garden in the centre, so we hang out there for a while. That evening we are picked up around 1am to go to the club, I am playing at Ministry of Sound. I usually play at Zouk in Singapore so I wasn’t sure what to expect this time. The club was a in a nice location, next to loads of bars and other clubs, the venue looked great. It was on 2 floors with about 5 rooms. They had a festival just the day before so they told me the club may not be as busy, but it filled up slowly and by the time I went on it was rocking, the sound system was excellent as with all Asian clubs, I wish all venue owners took so much care over their systems as they do over there. Shanghai: Next morning we are up very early to catch a flight to Shanghai. Aarrgghhh… nothing worse than having to travel early after late night. Thank God for business class and flat beds! 6 hours later we arrive in Shanghai feeling slightly better than when we left. I am playing that night so it’s straight to the hotel to chill. Around 2am we are picked up and head to Attica, the club is in a tall building with the most amazing view over the city and I must say the sound system is probably one of the best I have heard, EVER!! Once I am behind the booth I do not want to move, it is a dream to mix on and I just go for it, I usually play 2 hours but I play 3 on this night. The crowd is very mixed, some people in suits and party dresses they don’t look like hard core clubbers to me, but to my surprise they are loving it and get down to some serious dancing, when I take it harder and more techno edged they love it even more, I am having a ball and to my chagrin the 3 hours is over in no time. I go to bed happy. The next couple of days I have off so James and I go sight seeing in search of bargains and bootlegs but we change our minds and leave the rip offs behind. The language barrier in China is a big problem but very funny at the same time, James and I hunt down a place to eat off the beaten track and walk into a rather strange place where everyone stares at us, well, me probably. I find I am attracting a lot of attention in China which makes me a little edgy. Anyway somehow we manage to order some food but we have no idea what it is, it comes and it is actually delicious. The staff stand around and stare while we eat. Bangkok : Next stop is Bangkok. I feel very at home here. I love Thailand and have been going nearly every year for 17 years, last time I went I did a detox, I spent a week not eating anything and having 2 colonics a day!! You feel amazing afterward I highly recommend it. After a 4 hour delay in Shanghai airport, a fierce migraine and a dodgy curry we arrive in Bangkok. Bangkok is hot, steamy and BUSY. I thought it couldn’t get any busier but the traffic seems to have doubled in the last year, everyone seems to be racing around, buying, selling, shopping. Bed is the venue I am playing at it is a bar/club, when we arrive it seems very bright and they have a very cheesy house cd playing I am mortified. I am cornered by a camera crew and do a lengthy interview with some really dodgy questions, there is nothing worse than being asked for the millionth time, “what is it like being a female dj” aaaahhhhhhh……I hate that question, it is ridiculous. I ask them to turn the lights down, I get on the decks turn the volume up and slam on a fierce new Jamie Jones remix, the mostly European crowd run onto the dancefloor hands in the air, going for it. I go into a really deep house/ minimal set then into some tech house, they are loving it, the sound system has a good bottom end so I am dancing away myself and really enjoying it. I carry on playing till way after closing time and head back to hotel totally knackered. It’s funny because often you can be playing and feel fine and awake and as soon as you finish you realise how tired you are. The next day we spend shopping eating, a trip boat trip along the river past the royal palace and a fabulous foot massage for about £3, genius. Seoul : Another long flight and we arrive to the freezing cold, underdressed I may add. Seoul is quite the opposite of Thailand and the vibe is very calm. Both James and I are exhausted, it’s been a week of long flights and very late nights. We get to the hotel in the morning and stay there all day in bed vegging out and sleeping. In the evening we are taken to a Korean bbq place, this is one of the best meals I have ever had, the meat is divine. With my stomach full I am ready to go to work. Seoul has not really got a scene as such so it’s always tricky playing to these kinds of crowds they can either love it or hate it. I am taken up to car park then shown into a dark room with decks set up, they tell me to get my first record ready, I am totally confused and they are not explaining clearly what is going on, anyway before I know it I am being lowered down, the dark room I am in is actually the dj booth, as I am being lowered the crowd slowly comes into view, I feel like bleedin’ Madonna, there are lasers everywhere and the crowd go nuts I slam on my first track and it’s going mental, all a bit too over the top for my liking but fun never-the-less. Tokyo : Tokyo is one of my favourite cities in the world. It is all about extremes, new meets old. I love Japanese food and the whole culture. It was my fourth time to Tokyo so I feel I know the place. I always stay in Shibuya which is the centre where all the good shops are, it’s manic, so many people, it’s were all the schoolgirls and kids hang out, all dressed in their various outfits, it’s amusing to see. I feel like a giant over there though, nothing in the shops fits me, they laugh when I ask then for a size 41 shoe - they only go up to 38! I have a couple of friends in Tokyo so I put them on the list and arranged to meet them at the club. We arrived in Tokyo around 4pm and I was due to play at 6pm as it was an afterhours, I was exhausted and had to really get it together to go and do my job. Womb in Tokyo has been going for ages, it is awesome, a proper club, one huge dark room with a killer sound system. I was really excited to be playing, my Japanese mates were all down the front screaming and the crowd were very up for it. It was so dark you couldn’t actually see the crowd which I quite liked, I got into my groove and it was over really quickly, I fell into bed straight after. This was the final stop so we had two more days to enjoy Tokyo. To say we shopped till we dropped is an understatement. You can get such cool stuff over there. I got the latest Bose speakers to use with my lap top - they won’t be out in UK for ages they say. My friend took us to an amazing restaurant where we had a really interesting selection of food, we over ordered and made real pigs of ourselves. The next night the promoter arranged for us to go the best sushi place in town, we had a private room booked all to ourselves. There was no menu, the sushi chef just comes in and says what he thinks we would like then just keeps bringing dish after dish. It was the most delicious, amazing sushi I have ever tasted, the difference was so huge from other food I had tasted in the past. So with that flavour lingering in our mouths the next day we boarded the plane home. All in all an enjoyable trip, very tiring but well worth it. Words: Smokin Jo Check out Smokin Jo’s MySpace !
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Travel to Krakow
You can’t beat a city break for hitting the shops and all the usual urban thrills and spills. But sometimes you might want to kick back and chill out somewhere more intimate. Yes? You do? In which case, say pah to Paris and head for the craic in Krakow. Words: Clark Turner IT’S A FACT According to legend a dragon lived underneath the castle. The beast is no more but its lair can still be visted. Helena Rubenstein, born in the old Kazimierz Jewish quarter, went on to found a global cosmetic empire. Karol Wojyla studied in the city before graduating to Archbishop of Krakow. He eventually became Pope John Paul II, the first Polish Pope. TONGUE TIED Beer – Piwo Your eyes are like the moon - Twoje oczy są jak dwa księżyce How about breakfast? - Co powiesz na śniadanie? Will you marry me? - Wyjdziesz za mnie? CHECK THIS OUT Small in size, yet huge in terms of historical importance, no Polish city is quite as European as Krakow. The main Rynek market square could have been lifted from Venice, while its bustling medieval streets echo those of Paris. Cheap bars have made the city a top destination for stag and hen parties but it’s easy to lose them by heading from the main fray. A good place to start and get your bearings is the Wawel Castle, sitting proudly on a hill overlooking the city. For six centuries Wawel was home to all manner of kings and queens in what was the capital of the country, until King Sigiusmund upped sticks and moved the court to Warsaw in 1609. It’s a Renaissance treasure trove, but look out for the room whose ceiling is filled with wooden heads – scarily bizarre. The chapel is also worth a visit. Look out for the bones of the “strange beast” suspended over the entrance. Popular myth has it that when they fall it will signal the end of the world. ( http://www,wawel.krakow.pl ) A short walk from the castle is the Rynek main square. A host of cafes offer the best seat in town from which to watch the world go by… or plot revolution. Lenin did just that at U Noworola under the arches of the Cloth Hall. It’s a fabulously grand place - a throwback to the turn of the last century - and serves a mean coffee and cake. The Cloth Hall itself is full of tourist tat, trinkets and souvenir beer mugs. You have been warned. But Rynek is worth a visit for the famous bugler. On the hour and every day, from St Mary’s Basilica, the bugler plays a ceremonial tune - only to be cut off mid-way – recalling an event in 1241 when a bugler, warning of an approaching Tartar attack, was shot in the throat by an arrow. To bring things bang up to date, Bunkier Sztuki, is a stone’s throw away and plays host to some of the best and contemporary art on the scene. ( http://www.bunkier.pl ) The old Kazimierz Jewish quarter is a must see. Here Hassidic Jews, in their traditional garb, rub shoulders with Krakow’s hip contingent whilst restaurants serve up traditional dishes to the sound of klezmer music. Troubled times befell the area though, with the Holocaust. The Schindler Factory, as featured in Stephen Spielberg’s film ‘Schindler’s List’, still stands, and there are constant reminders that Auschwitz is only 50 miles away. It’s possible to visit the extermination camp where more then 100,000 Poles, gypsies, gays, and Russian prisoners, were gassed in a day, but even after more than 60 year’s it’s a harrowing place. ( www.auschwitz.org.pl ) A SALTY TREAT An old salt mine doesn’t sound like a must see - but trust us - it is! The Wielicka mine, a 30 minute bus ride from Krakow city centre, is home to a fantastical underground world. As well as mining salt for everyday jobs, like roads, the miners also found time to express their artistic talents. A two-hour tour takes in the highlights of more then 200 miles of corridors, including towering statues and the jawdroppingly impressive Chapel of St Kinga. Everything is amazingly made of rock salt; from the statue of Christ, to the altar and chandeliers. Mind-blowing stuff! ( www.kopalnia.pl ). SWEATBOXES Avoid the tourist traps of Rynek square and head to the Kazimierz quarter for some of the hippest bars in town. Alchemia on Powy square is the height of all things bohemian, lit by dripping candles and decorated with old black and white portraits. Head to Prozak as the night wears on, as the bar/club is a cult favourite in the city. Klub 7 on Filipa street is the gay hub of Krakow. The basement club has the air of a school disco but the punters ensure it remains attitude free. IT’S A DATE May – The annual Soup Festival in Plac Nowy Square is a festival and it’s all about celebrating soup. Genius. June – The Grand Dragon Parade and Wawel Dragon Festival is all the excuse you need to party. September – The Dachshund Parade, we kid you not, is usually held on the second Sunday of the month. A must for doggy lovers. GET AWAY AND STAY Low-cost airline Centralwings flies direct to Krakow from London Gatwick, Birmingham and Manchester. For bookings and more information visit www.centralwings.com The Hotel Poleski offers contemporary glamour with spectacular views of the Wawel Hill and castle, but with only three-stars, charges rates that won’t break the bank balance. For the low-down and bookings visit www.hotelpoleski.pl
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Bacardi presents: The Cocktail of the Future
Bacardi presents: The Cocktail of the Future
27/02/2008
Those with a refined palate and a taste for culinary excellence; those that know their Shish Kebab from their Doner, will have heard of Heston Blumenthal. He’s that charming fellow with the glasses, the three-Michelin star chef who owns The Fat Duck in Berkshire, serving up such delights as Snail Porridge and Bacon-and-Egg Ice-cream. Mmmm… Our Heston uses ‘molecular mixology’ or, if one was to go all molecular and transcribe into an easy-to-read understandable lingo, he uses scientific methods to create his dishes. Anyway, now Bacardi are venturing into the whole ‘scientific method’ approach to celebrate the 146th Anniversary of Bacardi Superior Rum, in a bid to create the ‘Mojito cocktail of the Future’. Molecular mixology is a fairly recent avant-garde approach to cocktails; a kind of rock ‘n’ roll, counter-cultural, anti-establishment method of producing and delivering Bacardi to the masses. Rather than trudge down the standard mixing root, a bit of this in a shaker, a tiny bit of that, the molecular method is a far greater spectacle ala Heston Blumenthal. Sure, you won’t see someone throwing a bottle in the air, catching it on their toe and squeezing a lemon on their nose with a flick of a finger, but you’ll witness plenty of steam, liquid nitrogen, and Xantham gum being used, which in our opinion is way damn cooler. Frankly it’s mental. Bacardi first started pouring Mojito cocktails way back in the 1800s, using the rather simple, but nonetheless handsome ingredients of rum, lime, carbonated water, sugar and mint. In fact, Bacardi were so unique they became the original pioneers of the ‘cocktail’ as we know and love it today. In its infancy the Mojito would have been made with a standard shaker (wood perhaps or more likely metal), but the equipment used for the ‘Mojito of the Future’ would seem more at home in a DIY store, hospital or laboratory. Well, I say "more at home", but with all the MRSA floating about hospitals are the last abode I'd choose as residence. Anyway, the whole process of molecular mixology involves using different methods and processes of creation. Take the mint for example. The mint is pureed and strained to produce mint water. Ten-percent sugar and a little bit of water is added to the mixture before being poured into a squeezy bottle. Still with me? Good. The process of squeezy bottle mixture to solidified mint balls, or pearls if you were, begins by adding gelatin and Xantham gum to the liquid concoction. The bottle is then dropped into liquid nitrogen (hence the steam reference), and the top of the squeezy bottle creates the appropriately named ‘mint balls’ by slowly releasing the liquid; which solidifies when cooled down to room temperature. It’s All very, very bizarre, but fascinating nonetheless. Now, rather than beat about the bush and attempt to unsuccessfully describe the procedure for every aspect of creation, I’ve rather kindly placed a video of Molecular Mixologist Eben Freeman making the 'Mojito of the Future'. So far only two bars in the UK are offering these avant garde cocktails, though New York, Paris, Melbourne and Chicago have also joined the craze. Apparently, a no finer beverage will one ever taste. Words: Dave Dryden Bar: Mahiki Location: London Cocktail: Rio Popsicle Bar: Shochu Lounge Location: London Cocktail: Bloody Mary Prairie Oyster
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The Sims 2 Soundtrack: Rock 'n' Roll!?
The Sims 2 Soundtrack: Rock 'n' Roll!?
15/02/2008
Life; it’s a funny old game. As the old adage goes “live for today, not for tomorrow”, I mean, you never know what’s around the corner, right? Anything could happen… You could try asparagus for the first time, find that you’re allergic, keel over, and die; a string of drool gently trickling onto that plush new carpet… And god damn-it, you only bought it yesterday; five-quid a meter in Carpet Warehouse! Man, it’s just not fair. This brings us nicely onto the subject of this here article, this tête-à-tête between you and I: The brand-spanking new soundtrack for EA’s Sims phenomena, a gaming institution that allows you to control the lives of your own self-made little people, from house and furniture, to jobs and personality… Without the worry of Asparagus, mental break-downs and London ruddy transport. The Sims saga has continued to expand, with the little guys and gals in Sim-land now able to look after pets, take vacations, go shopping, and all that jazz. Anyway, the Sims also have their own language, Simlish, kind of like Klingon only slightly cooler and far more hip. Lily Allen, the Black Eyed Peas, Lemon Jelly and everyone’s favourite Brazilian’s CSS, have all recorded in Simlish… So there you go. Anyway, EA recently announced the list of artistes to be featured on The Sims™ 2 FreeTime soundtrack, and, wait for it, none other than Natasha Bedingfield has gone all Sim on your arse. Good ‘ol Tash has actually been made into a Sim for EA’s new venture, I mean, there’s a cheesy music video and everything. The makers of the game (apologies if you’re under the allusion your Sim is real) are chuffed to bits about the array of artists on offer… “This in-game soundtrack full of talented musicians from around the world, such as Natasha Bedingfield, is the perfect backdrop for your Sims to discover and develop their passions,” explains Steve Shnur, Worldwide Exec of Music and Music Marketing at EA. (Sorry to spoil your thunder Steve, but like I said, it’s a game man). Anyway, other artists to have recorded on the soundtrack include Datarock, the post-punk, electro, dance manifestation from Norway, and US of A bands ‘They Might Be Giants’, ‘Great Northern’ and New York City rockers ‘Fire Flies’. EA have even gone international, with singers from Spain and Sweden getting in on the act. With track names like ‘Take Out the trash’ and ‘Fa-Fa-Fa’, you just know that this soundtrack is going to be Kooj… which is Simlish for cool. “It was such a fun and delightful challenge to learn how to sing in Simlish,” explained Natasha Bedingfield. “The language of The Sims captures a wonderful sense of beauty, creativity and humor, so my song ‘Pocketful of Sunshine’ translated well!” The Sims 2 FreeTime, the latest expansion pack will be available from February 29th, 2008. In The Sims 2 FreeTime, your Sims can build their skills and enhance friendships by exploring new pursuits based on their personal interests, helping them live life to the fullest. In-Game Soundtrack Credits: “Fa-Fa-Fa” Performed by Datarock Written by Fredrik Saroea and Ketil Mosnes Published by Artwerk Music, LLC Recording courtesy of Nettwerk Productions “It’s A Party” Performed by Fire Flies Written by Dan Romer Published by Drawing Number One Publishing Recording courtesy of Asteroid B-612 “Into The Sun” Performed by Great Northern Written by Rachel Stolte and Solon Bixler Published by Songs Music Publishing LLC obo Ram Island Songs (ASCAP) and Kill The Piano Music (ASCAP) Recording courtesy of Eenie Meenie Records by arrangement with Big Sounds International, Inc. “Britney” Performed by I'm From Barcelona Written by Emanuel Lundgren Published by EMI Blackwood Music (BMI) Recording courtesy of EMI Records under license from EMI Film & Television Licensing “La Otra Princesa” Performed by Lara Written by Massimiliano Minoia and Lara Pinilla Osuna Published by Lara What Songs Pop S.L. and Globomedia Musica Publishing S.L. Recording courtesy of Virgin/EMI Records – Spain and GloboMedia Musica “Your Forgiveness” Performed by Lexington Bridge Written by Cliff Masterson, Mark Read, Pete Martin and Robert Heart Published by Universal Music Publishing Recording courtesy of Universal Records under license from Universal Music Enterprises Words: Dave Dryden
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Say Hello to my DJ Friend: The Pacemaker
Say Hello to my DJ Friend: The Pacemaker
13/02/2008
You know, I attempted to cook a Victoria Sponge Cake last Tuesday. I thought “Man, anyone can bake a cake”, that’s some easy friggin’ s**t, right? Wrong! I broke the eggs and the eggshells went in the mix, and then I dropped the flour on my foot; man, it was belly-up from there. It came out the oven like Friday night’s curry… See, some people, like me, have limited ability when it comes to creativity… Stick me in front of a turntable and I’d crumble, the sound of a million banshees would fill the room, everything would go Pete Tong minus the ability. The ‘ol fat person in a pool effect… Enter the Pacemaker, an appropriately named pocket-sized implement that’ll have even the most tech-shy keeping up the pace with DJ luminaries the world over… Well, so expectations suggest. The Pacemaker’s a sort of glorified iPod; you could put any tune you like on this little baby, with a massive 120GB hard-drive allowing you to mix and mash to your hearts content. How can this be, you may ask? Because the Pacemaker allows you to play two, yes TWO, tracks simultaneously. It’s the future baby, yeah! Imagine remixing The Stooges, Rolling Stones and Kate Bush… “What, Wuthering Heights?” “It’s possible… It’s possible…” I mean, you could scratch and mix anything from any genre with the Pacemaker. You could even scratch some classic blues, Miles Davis, or Frank Sinatra with Hot Chip or Wu Tang Clan… Anyway, here’s the technical part about all this mixing malarkey. The Pacemaker has the ability to measure the BPM (Beats per Minute) of your uploaded tracks enabling you to mix tracks as simple as one, 1, 2, 3 or A, B, C. The possibilities are endless! “We’re out to try something different; to bring people closer to the music they love and to let music lovers be creative with their passion,” Inventor of Pacemaker and founder of Tonium, Jonas Norberg explains. “We aim to increase the diversity and reinforce the value of music by offering new means for people like us to creatively engage in what we love!” The Pacemaker is compatible with PC and MAC and supports all the major audio formats including MP3, WAV, AAC, OGG and FLAC files, which is pretty friggin’ impressive. Furthermore, the quality of sound is “twenty,” yes twenty, “times better than the average iPod”. Oh, and if all this tech-speak wasn’t salivating enough Pacemaker will offer a free download editor for your PC or MAC so you can play about with mouse and key, download new tracks and beats, and upload your creative babies to share the world over. Who knows? You could be the next Armin Van Buuren…? Even if you can’t bake a Victoria Sponge… Words: Dave Dryden www.pacemaker.net Tech Speak: IN THE BOX: • Pacemaker® • Quick start guide • Stereo amplifier cables • USB 2.0 cable • Power charger SIZE AND WEIGHT • Length 164/ Width 69.6/ Height 22.8 mm • Weight: 200 g (approx.) CAPACITY • 120 GB hard drive INPUT AND OUTPUT • Mini USB • 2x3.5 mm stereo plug POWER AND BATTERY • Exchangeable rechargeable battery; full-charge time: 1.5 hrs, fast-charge time: about 1 hr • Music playback time: 18 hrs • DJ operating time: 5 hrs DISPLAY • Dimensions: ø 45 mm • Resolution: 166 dpi screen resolution (0.153 mm dot pitch) • TFT display with 262 K colours AUDIO • Frequency response: 20–20.000 Hz (SNR: 103 dB) • Audio formats supported: MP3, AAC, OGG Vorbis, FLAC, WAV DJ FUNCTIONALITY • Two output channels: headphones and lineout • Two crossfaders: headphones and lineout • Pitch control: ± 100% • Equalizer: for adjusting treble, mid and bass amplitudes. • Mix saving: continuous caption to hard drive. • User Input latency: approx. 5 ms MAC SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS • Mac with USB 2.0 port; Pacemaker® Editor installed • Mac OS X v10.3.9 or later WINDOWS SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS • PC with USB 2.0 port; Pacemaker® Editor • Windows XP Home or Professional or Windows Vista ENVIRONMENTAL REQUIREMENTS • Operating temperature: 0–55°C • Storage temperature: -20–55°C LANGUAGES All major languages supported
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Met. Police launch new campaign:
Met. Police launch new campaign: "Knives aren't a good look!"
07/02/2008
The Metropolitan Police Service (MPS) have created an innovative online video and game to combat the UK’s rising knife crime. Now, we all know that carrying a knife isn’t a game (well the sensible majority of us) but when you consider that a large percentage of those that carry a knife are youths you can understand the Met. Police’s new initiative. After all, what better way to grab the attention and send out a message to the “kid’s” and “teens” than with a reasonably comical video and game? ( www.notagoodlook.org ) The intention of the MPS is to tackle issues of kudos (the way kids feel when they carry a sharp-tool). Sure, some people carry a knife because they think it gives them “street cred” and makes them feel that they’re “down with the kids”, but frankly that’s BS. Let’s face the facts here; it doesn’t transform you - “Ahlakazoo Alakazam” - from Bruce Banner to the Incredible Hulk, it improves the chances of causing physical (possibly fatal) harm and makes you far more likely to receive a hefty punishment… Hence why the Met. Police have made the knife carrying protagonist in their video and game a carbon copy of Dame Edna Everage, with a ‘ghetto’ twist that youth can relate to… Baseball cap, orange leggings, garish socks, green furry coat, that kind of thing. Oh, and the crème de la crème of nineties chic, the bum-bag, or fanny-bag depending on your stance. Gok Wan would have a field day! As an MPS spokesperson explains: “Our experience is that young people carry knives for a number of reasons including a misguided sense of kudos or self-protection, or in order to commit offences. Those engaged in serious violence will end up damaging their lives either tragically, or by being arrested and having to deal with a criminal record. We will not tolerate offending which blights the lives of our young people”. In the video our ludicrously attired knife-carrier is shunned and ignored by his casually dressed peers… Including girls, because let’s face it, they don’t find a sharp-tool “cool” or “clever”. They’d much rather date a lawyer, a mathematician or a journalist… Anyway, the video culminates in the ‘ol knife carrier showing his tool to a mate (who’s really impressed) and before you know it his wide-smiled acquaintance is transformed into a clown. The moral of the story? Carry a knife and you look like a twat, you’ll live the life of a twat and you’ll probably remain a twat. So get rid of the knife carrying and step back into the real-world you fool! The online game is pretty creative and fun too. Even at the (not so) tender age of 23 I had hours of enjoyment drawing fish, badgers and smiley faces to hamper the life of the knife-wielding thug. The game allows you to punish the knife carrier in a variety of ways by creating an interactive world, pressing play, and watching the madness as it unfolds. You can draw lines for the chap to walk across and draw obstacles that have various consequences when he comes into contact with them. Anyway, rather than bore you with the online adventures in my man’s world; the lemon that trapped him in a corner, the randy badger, and the huge cock that flew-up and hit him smack-bang in the bollocks; I’ll let you see the video and play the game yourself. To play the game and see the video visit: www.notagoodlook.org For further information on knife crime visit: www.itsnotagame.org A) It is an offence to use someone to hold a weapon. B) The maximum sentence for carrying a knife has increased from 2 years to 4 years. If you injure someone or use a knife to commit a crime the penalties could be far worse. C) There has been an increase to the minimum age to buy a knife from 16 – 18. D) New powers have been made available to members of staff in schools and further education to search pupils. Words: Dave Dryden
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Eastern Thinking: Celebrating London's East End
Eastern Thinking: Celebrating London's East End
01/02/2008
The Notion Office may be the media equivalent of a crack-den; people coming, going and praying for their fix of - “hard-copy, man, hard-copy” - from our whimsical palms, but we happen to be at the epicentre of London’s coolest, trendiest, most hip-and-happening area. Oh yeah, you’re damn right; we’re Eastenders baby, just like the good folk of Albert Square. East London ’s a pretty eclectic area. Nobody turns a blind eye at a guy wearing polka-dot hot-pants, a woman with a goatee, or a pigeon listening to Iron Maiden on an iPod Nano. Okay, so they’re a figment of my drug-frazzled, externally, internally and eternally damaged brain… But you get the gist? It’s a pretty diverse neck of the woods. Hence why the Art fraternity have stood-up and taken notice. Eastern Thinkin g is a new and permanent exhibition within the hallowed walls of the Andaz Hotel. A pretty famous establishment, it has be said. Basically, the whole Eastern Thinking initiative is to blend a bit of this with a bit of that, all with an undertone of the East End from past to present. The Andaz has teamed up with arty types from the creative hub of the area, ranging from a Drag Cabaret Artist right through to an Interior Designer, to make the hotel into a representation of those working and living in EC and E2. They’ve even got quotes hidden in the décor; those everyday snippets of conversation you hear about the "filth" and the "grime" and the "glamour" when you’re trudging around the East End, searching like Attenborough for the latest Banksy or vintage bowler hat. The quotes have been: “Designed into the fabric of the building. Some subtle and some more obvious - all positioned and designed with the aesthetics of the hotel space in mind.” Throughout the hotel there’ll be short films explaining the story behind each quote... Here’s a rundown of those responsible for the venture… Jonny Woo Drag Cabaret Artist Drag cabaret performer and starlet of the East End social scene, Jonny Woo has founded a series of significant music and entertainment events at key local venues –including ‘Stark Dallas Naked’ at Bistrotheque in Bethnal Green, and ‘Gay Bingo’ at Tea bar in Shoreditch. Peter Newman Artist and Sculptor A globally celebrated artist, Newman has made paintings, photographic, video installations and objects which explore how human beings 'grasp external space through bodily situation’. In 1999 he was awarded the Mark Rothko Travel Scholarship. Jason Bruges Interactive Creative Design The Jason Bruges Studio, founded in 2002, creates installations, sculptures and environments that focus on interaction with the individual and the environment. Recent works include temporary installations for Tate Britain, Victoria and Albert Museum, and the London Architecture Biennale. Barber Osgerby Furniture and Interior Designers Super stars of the international furniture and design scene, working on architectural projects for clients such as Stella McCartney and even product design for Levi Strauss Jo Hunter Vexed Generation Fashion Designer Established in 1994, Vexed Generation Clothing was set up to produce clothes that suit an urban environment and promote issues of environmental and social significance. Recent designs included costumes for the arts council funded film Warstars, shot in Iceland. Joss McKinley Artist and Photographer Joss takes his inspiration from personal transience and the physical state and often focuses on taxidermy of everyday animals as his subject matter. As a photographer, his clients include Wallpaper, Vogue, Paul Smith and Betty Jackson. Danny Sangra Fashion Illustrator Sangra has illustrated for various fashion and style magazines, design prints, shoes, product and layouts – recent collaboration include work with the shoe company Double Identity, and designing prints for the Marc by Marc Jacobs range. Hannah Martin Luxury Jewellery Designer Designs fiercely opulent jewellery, as worn by David Beckham in his latest ad for Motorola earlier this year. Checkinit Art Direction and Trend-Forecasting Agency Checkinit offers a forward thinking world of cool, designed to breathe inspiration into brands and fashion houses – with a focus on art, style and media. Jam Art, design and Brand Expression Creative Group Leading creative group outputting art, design and brand expression across the world based in Hoxton. Clients include Playstation, Audi, Reebok, Sony, Coca Cola, Vodafone and Virgin Atlantic. Andaz Liverpool Street London , 40 Liverpool Street , London , United Kingdom , EC2M 7QN Tel: +44 207 961 1234 info.londonliv@andaz.com Words: Dave Dryden
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Pub Dave: 'Smalking' Habits
Pub Dave: 'Smalking' Habits
24/01/2008
Sometimes you have to bite your tongue. Not physically, but mentally. It’s far less bloody and gory, and nobody bites their tongue physically unless they’re really hungry and shoving food down their gullet like their life depends on it. I’ve bitten my tongue both mentally and physically and when I did it physically it hurt like hell. I couldn’t eat any more steak after that, even though it was a real nice bit of sirloin. I reckon smoking should never have been banned though, and I’m not going to bite my tongue on that one. People disagree, and fair enough, but that’s why smokers often complain now in pubs, because they have to go outside. Years of tradition down the drain. Smokers cast outside like social lepers. It isn’t really on. Our grandparents could smoke in pubs; theirs before them, and so on through to the middle ages. Maybe longer. Second hand smoke? A ridiculous theory. Those people survived wars. The smokers really vent their spleen about having to go outside, and even though talking, or ‘Smalking’ as it has been labelled, can be really positive, negative Smalking is becoming far more regular. It’s down to being in the cold weather or in the pouring rain. Smokers don’t want that. That’s one of the biggest subject matters of outside smokers: “why should we have to smoke out here?” That and football. Some people reckon that in the summer, when everyone’s outside including the non-smokers, the non-smokers will want the smokers inside. Opposite to how it is in the winter! I was never that good at science, achieving very bad grades, but I know that smoke just floats away outside so why should it matter? I was smoking outside and one guy told me that he really liked these two guys when he could smoke in the pub. Now he realises that one has real bad body odour and the other one has dog breath. The smoke used to cloud that. It’s true really, because the pub has an air freshener that constantly has to be used, whereas before it didn’t. If someone farts you can really smell-it. The other day one regular was literally heaving, and he’d only had a pint. It was because someone had let one go. Somerfield Dave was gagging as well, even though everyone pointed the finger at him. He was keeled over and everything. I reckon non-smokers will cave-in and want the ban lifted if people carry-on like that. Just you wait and see. More and more regularly Smalking appears to target the weak. We’ll be having conversations in a big smoking group, complaining about this that and the other, and then someone will say something and everyone will laugh hysterically at them. Not with them, at them! It’s a macho-type phenomena, I guess. A load of guys in a group being laddish and that kind of thing; the hunter and the hunted. A pack of wolves baying for blood. One guy, Dougie, was telling us how his jacket got caught on a bin, one of those ones covered in wire mesh. He was walking along, brushed against the bin, and his jacket got caught; just like that! Poor Dougie dragged the bin a few feet without realising his jacket was caught, and kids were pointing at him and laughing. I think he said they were teenagers, but they could have been kids. When Dougie was reciting this tale, he wasn’t too impressed, he said he loved the jacket and was going to get it fixed in a shop. Dougie is quite well-spoken and quite small; has a way with words. He described his jacket predicament as “bloody awful.” Everyone laughed at Dougie, and started saying things such as: “I burnt my toast this morning, it was bloody awful.” One guy said that the kids were probably pointing at the bin and wondering how it was moving on its own, because they couldn’t see Dougie… because he’s so small! See what I mean? Smalking targets the weak. Other Smalking subjects include women. When women are present they often get uptight about guys talking derogatory about other women, but this is all part of Smalking. One guy regularly goes to Thailand, and he said (fag in hand) that the women out there behave like women should do, because they don’t complain. All the women down the pub went mental, it was sort of vicious and they really laid into him. I guess he was entitled to his opinion, and they were entitled to their opinion. Anyway, sometimes women Smalk about men in the same way. I’ve heard them. I reckon they should reinvent the Jeremy Kyle Show into a Smalk show instead of a talk show. In the Jeremy Kyle Show, someone will say something, and then another person will have their say. That’s how it is outside the pubs, and often it’s far more interesting. They could call it something like: It’s Good to Smalk, with your host the walking Smalking Dot Cotton, or walking Smalking Pat Butcher. It could be an Eastenders spin-off. I reckon it could be a goldmine. Knowledge shared is knowledge gained.
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Travel to Budapest
Travel to Budapest "Europe's capital of cool..."
24/01/2008
Casting off the legacy of the Cold War, Budapest is fast emerging as Central Europe's capital of cool. The hen and stag parties may have it in their sights but with this guide you'll discover a city more chic than chav. Words: Clark Turner IT’S A FACT! Flight time from London to Budapest is just 2 hours and 20 minutes. It's not one city but two - Buda and Pest. Hungarian wine is the best in the world, according to the locals. The annual Sziget Festival is the biggest in Central Europe . TONGUE-TIED? I don't speak (much) Hungarian - Nem tudok (jol) Magyarul A cold beer please - Egy hideg sört kérek What are you doing tonight? - Mit csinál ma este ? CHECK THIS OUT Why visit one city when you can visit two? Welcome to Budapest - composed of the two cities Buda and Pest separated by the River Danube. It's back to the old skool in Budapest. The city has played a key role in European history for a thousand years and there are no shortage of ruins and grand civic buildings such as the castle and picture postcard perfect parliament building to impress. One of best ways to check these out is by boat from the Danube ( www.lengenda.hu ). For just £14 the ride will give you an unrivalled view for your snaps as well as providing some history on the city - and a stop off at the city's playground St. Margaret Island. Nazi invaders, Soviet invaders – Hungary’s had them all. Budapest has been through some tough times in the past. One of the most notorious addresses in the city (Andrassy 60) was first home to the Hungarian Nazis before the Soviet secret police took up residence. If you went in, one thing was for sure - you weren't coming out alive. The building is now the House of Terror museum telling how millions of Hungarians suffered and celebrating the 1956 Uprising. In the basement the torture cells and a gallows have been preserved. Nice. ( www.terrorhaza.hu ) When the Soviet's moved out in 1989, Budapest decided it was time for a spring clean. All 40 Soviet statues that dominated the city were removed and relocated. You can now find them at the Statue Park in all their Soviet Realist glory. A 30 minute taxi ride from the city centre will set you back around 20 Euros so it's best to catch the bus at a fraction of the price. ( www.szoborpark.hu ) Despite the past it's a city at a crossroads and a new generation of young people are now behind one of the most exciting arts and music scenes in Europe. You'll find the main arts district at Millenaris Park, the site of an old electrical works that is now home to a gallery, theatre, concert hall and jazz bar. The city's answer to the Tate, the Ludwig Museum, is a tram ride from the city centre. For a taste of fashionable retro Commie cool, Tisza Cipo (Karoly Korut, 1) has reworked the Soviet label into a line of savvy streetwear for a new generation. Prices aren't from the 1980s but style costs, baby. All too much? Thankfully, coffee culture and cake is big in Budapest. Check out the world famous Gerbeaud Cafe on Vörösmarty Square to experience tasty coffee and even tastier cakes in grand surroundings. SWEAT BOXES One of the most exciting things about Budapest is the guerrilla outdoor bars that spring up in the summer. Courtyards and rooftops lay out tables and chairs - and hey presto you have a bar. One of the best is Corvinteto (Blaha Luzja 1-2) on the top of an old Commie department store. A store still remains but the rooftop bar is buzzing with spectacular views of the city skyline and the bonus ball is you get free bevs in the lift up to get you in the mood. Being located in a flash new shopping centre might not be the most obvious place for the hottest club in Budapest - but what can you do? You’ll find Kameleon on the top floor of Mammut shopping centre. Gayers will find fun and frolics at the appropriately named Action (Magyar 42) and Coxx (Dohany 38) SPA ACTION Forget the big bucks a day at a spa might cost you in Blighty. In Budapest, you can experience the real deal for a fraction of the cost. For around a tenner you can hop between glamorous art nouveau thermal pools at the Gellert Hotel pretending you've just stepped off the Orient Express. The swimming pool is overtaken by waves every hour for the best fun you can have without taking your swimwear off. Alternatively the Szechenyi Gyogyfurdo es Strandfuro is just as much fun and half the price in the city park. IT’S A DATE 12-18 August. The Sziget Festival is Central Europe’s biggest musical festival of the year. Headliners have yet to be announced for 2008, but last year saw a line-up that included The Killers, Pink, The Chemical Brothers and Faithless. You get the picture. 26 August. Budapest’s answer to the Love Parade is the Budapest Parade. Half a million revellers and 50-plus sound systems take to the streets. 12-21 October. The city’s Autumn Festival celebrates the best in art, music, film and theatre. GET AWAY AND STAY Central Europe's biggest lowcost airline, Wizzair, flies direct from London Luton to Budapest on a daily basis. For more information and booking visit www.wizzair.com . One of the most fashionable addresses in the city is at Csokonai 14. The four-star Atrium Hotel is a prime example of new Budapest. Located in the heart of the city centre, you're only a hop skip and jump from all the major sights and night haunts. For more information and bookings visit www.atriumhotelbudapest.com
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How to beat the 'New Year Blues'
How to beat the 'New Year Blues'
11/01/2008
You should never have eaten the Christmas pudding. It was one step too far. Ridiculous really. It’s left you with bingo wings akin to the turkey; sprawled on the table like a corpse on a mortuary slab. You’re not much different, lying on that couch like a basking Walrus. Why do we do these things? Those ruddy trousers you received from your sibling are two-sizes too small now, and you wanted them for so god damn long. To top it off your finances are all over the shop, and counting the pennies hasn’t helped. Six-pound-and-thirty-four-pence; where does it all go? Still at least you’re on holiday. Yep, good old Saint Nick guarantees a holiday the same time every year. Oh, no… oh, fiddlesticks, you’re back to work tomorrow. Back to work, dear me; penniless, bloated and so stressed out you’ve turned to the bottle. Alas, help is at hand for the ‘New Year Blues’ in the shape of CEO and founder of ‘The Stress Institute’ Dr. Kathleen Hall. You may have seen the revered Dr. Hall on such programs as Oprah and Friends or CNN. She’s also a ruddy good journalist, with columns featured in the New York Times and Washington Post. Yes indeed, the lady knows her stuff. Anyway, Dr. Hall believes beating the dreaded blues is dead simple. All it requires is some ‘me time,’ fun and laughter, and a little bit of exercise. So beating the blues is a piece of cake really… Actually, let me rephrase that. So, beating the blues is a walk in the park… literally. It’s a hard time the New Year. You shove as much booze and as much food down your gullet as you can physically manage over the festive period, and throw your money about the place without a care in the ruddy world. But suddenly it all creeps up on you, like a bearded homeless fellow in the street; “sorry mate, no money, I spent it on a ruddy Cabbage Patch Doll and a DVD Combo for the kids.” According to online gaming site Pogo.co.uk, half the nation will be more stressed about having no money and returning to the same job. What’s more, women are affected more than men, with 51% of them tearing their hair out. 30% of Londoners alone are freaking out over money, whilst more than one in ten people in North England and Scotland are uptight about piling on the pounds - not losing them. “The new Year signifies a new start,” explains Dr. Hall. “But very often people are worrying about paying back their holiday bills, losing the extra weight they’ve gained or returning to the same routine they were looking forward to getting away from before the holidays. These things come together to create increased stress which can affect both your mental and physical health. Taking ‘me time’, exercise and play are simple and effective ways to beat the New Year blues.” Here’s the scientific part about combating stress, because as we know, science cannot be disproved. Science holds the key to truth - it’s an inarguable fact! Basically, taking time to laugh and play, as Dr. Hall suggests, reduces stress hormones and releases endorphins. This is a really good thing, because as we release endorphins we get all happy and merry, and things start to seem a-okay. Too many endorphins spoil the broth, so to speak, so it’s good to kick the ruddy things into touch. Furthermore, laughing boosts the immune system; aiding in disease prevention. So, if you’re suffering from a New Years bug or are feeling generally stressed out, stick on that Only Fools and Horses box set the old dear brought you for Christmas. You’ll be right as rain before long. It’s science. We can also release endorphins by doing a spot of exercise, even when you’re at work. Dr. Hall suggests chair-yoga. Gentle chair exercises are a hobby of the elderly, so if you’re young and fit there’s no excuse. Do a gentle thrust behind your chair, or move your legs up and down, keeping them straight whilst sitting, and you’ll be waving ‘ta-ra’ to stress and ‘hello’ to a beaming smile before the boss can shout: “where are those ruddy spreadsheets?” Pogo.co.uk, which offers over eighty popular online games, including Poppit!™, Word Whomp™, and Bingo Luau, has teamed up with the delectable Dr. Hall who recommends gaming as a fantastic means of beating stress. Pogo’s Vice President of Marketing, Beatrice Spaine is delighted to have the good doctor on board, as she explained: “83% of Pogo™ players have said that the number one reason for playing on Pogo is to sit down, take a break and let the day’s stress wash away. I’m so glad that we can partner with Dr. Hall to spread the word about the connection between play and stress relief during the New Year.” So put that bottle down, quit the comfort eating, and take your fist away from your colleague’s temple. Straighten your shirt, sit down and do some chair squats or leg-lifts. Then turn on your computer, head to Pogo.co.uk and play a few word games or a spot of solitaire. That’s better; you can feel the endorphins sliding away. Isn’t that fantastic? Before long you’ll have a smile from ear to ear, those trousers will slide on like a glove and the money will come flowing back. That’s if you’re not already obese, an alcoholic or have been charged with GBH for assaulting the guv’nor. Stress? Nothing to it really. Pogo.co.uk is an online casual games service that offers over 80 free games including puzzle, word, casino, classic card and board games. The site offers players an easy-to-use chat feature where millions of people talk about their favourite games, best scores, or simply share stories about their lives. Don’t tear your hair out, visit Pogo.co.uk . Words: Dave Dryden
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